A Holiday Potpourri

Has it really been 3 weeks since my last post? Hmmm...so it has!

Well, I guess I'd better hurry and get a post up on my poor blog before I get sucked into all the momentum of Christmas and become crazed and incoherent like I do every year. Here are a few things we've been up to as of late:Cade returned from Ireland - hooray! He was able to see lots of gorgeous scenery like this while he was there. Cool, huh?

(FYI and totally off-subject, my tooth is feeling just fine now thanks to a root canal that took place just hours after publishing my last post. Thanks Dr. Jacobsen, for taking away my extreme physical pain for a small fortune. It was so worth it!)

3 words: Viva La Coldplay! (What an incredible concert). Cade and I both love Coldplay and it was great to sing along to all the songs and rock out like a couple of idiotic teenagers. Aaahhh!

Jason started basketball. He's by far the shortest kid on the whole team, as half of them are a grade older. But of course Jason sees that as a challenge and plays even more competetively. That kid is brutal out there and when he does something awesome, he casually glances over at us with his cute little half-smile, which we are inclined to return two-fold.

Hannah had her first dance recital of all time. She was a train-wreck at both dress rehearsals, hanging on my leg and other such nonsense so I was obviously very concerned she wouldn't be able to make it through the performance with me (and my leg) out in the audience. That's where bribery comes in. I let her pick out a cute little make-up set at Walmart for her to have AFTER her performance. I told her that if she felt compelled to hang on my leg, we would have to return the present. It worked! She was all confidence and smiles up there on the stage...what a little diva! Here she is in her skimpy-little-costume-that-I-had-no-control-over. Enough said. She also had a cute and modest Cindy Lou Who costume she wore for her Grinch song "Where Are You Christmas?" (Like the hairdo?) That was so precious and I was beaming with pride the whole time. She hasn't stopped talking about her recital so I'm hopeful that her jitters are a thing of the past now.

This may not be blog-worthy to you, but I miraculously configured Rachel's hair into little pig tails the other day. I only did it that one day because they were a lot of trouble and came out easily, but someday soon these cute little piggies will be a regular occurrence.

Is it just me or is this girl flippin' cute? She was even saying "cheese" at the time, that's how confident she felt about her adorableness. My little Santa Momma!

I finally got a around to this old thing. I mean, it's the perfect size...if you're a little person, which I am not. I really need a new tree but there's always something I need more than a dang Christmas tree and I never seem to have mutiple hundreds of dollars burning a whole in my pocket...so there it is in all of it's six-foot (that's being generous) glory!

Other Items of Blog-Worthiness, But Alas, No Photo Documentation:

1. Thanksgiving Dinner. It was lovely...thanks for asking.
2. Adam and his new braces...and headgear..and palate expander. (Now you know why a new Christmas tree is out of the question this year!)
3. Making chocolates with my mom. We had some great mother/daughter bonding, and the chocolates taste delicious but they're not very pretty like Grandma Peterson's, so I've made the difficult decision to not give them as neighbor gifts this year and eat them for myself. We may try again and if they don't turn out I'll eat those too, and so on, and so on.

Today: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The GOOD:

• For once I got the garbage can out to the curb BEFORE the garbage truck came by this morning...and I wasn't running...or barefoot...or bra-less.
• Someone returned my garbage can back to it's spot before I did. I think it was Bro. Zobell. Thanks, man.
  
• I paid less than 2 bucks a gallon for gas today for the first time in ages. Hooray!!
• The sun was shining and it was warm - not Arizona-in-November-warm, but warm nonetheless.
• Cade's having a great time in Ireland - other than the fact that his lovely wife is not there to accompany him, of course. He sent us an e-mail with lots of cool pictures which we poured over for Family Home Evening (Thanks babe, for getting me out of planning a lesson!)
  
• I got a good chuckle out of Adam and Jason's keyboarding "practice" earlier tonight. I felt compelled to copy and paste what they typed: JASON POOPOLAST NIGHT I POOPED IN MY PANTS. Aren't boys the best!
• I ate about 15 pumpkin chocolate chip cookies today. Mmmm.

The BAD:

• I have this tooth that is seriously KILLING me. It's been bothering me off and one for a while but today the pain is definitely "on". It's been incessant and throbbing all day except for the 2 or so hours of relief that my 3 Tylenol/2 Motrin cocktail provided. I need to have another root canal done on this poor bugger, but I'm trying to wait until January so insurance will cover it. Think I'll make it?
• My hair. I hate it. Today especially.
• Cade's in Ireland. The ratio of adults to children here is 5:1. I'm the lucky "1".
• I'm out of whole milk for Rachel. Sorry squirt...today it's 1% or bust!
• Have I mentioned that my tooth hurts?
• I ate about 15 pumpkin chocolate chip cookies today. Oh dear....

The UGLY:

• Rachel has "blown out" of every diaper I have put her in today. That's a less-gross way of saying "diarrhea." I can dress her up, but I can definitely NOT take her out.
  
• Tyler has "refunded" every meal he's eaten today. That's a less-gross way of saying "barf". At one point this was only classified as "bad". It got "ugly" when I came downstairs and discovered Tyler's puddles-O'-vomit (that's for you in Ireland, Cade) trailing from the family room to the bathroom (he never actually made it INTO the bathroom), one of which I stepped in. Jessica, we could've used your Barf Training Video at Family Home Evening tonight. Maybe Tyler would have made it to the bathroom sooner and I wouldn't have cursed. On the bright side, after using a gallon of Pine-Sol, my kitchen tile is cleaner than it's ever been!
• I feel like Tom Hanks on Castaway, tortured by tooth pain so severe he takes matters into his own hands. If I run out of Tylenol/Motrin, so help me...
• I ate about 15 pumpkin chocolate chip cookies today. YIKES!!

Tomorrow's Forecast? More good, less bad and hopefully NO more ugly...at least until Cade gets back.

Happy Halloween!

Tyler - 1 Decade Old!

My first-born has hit the double-digits - Aaahhhh! The big one-oh...10! We started out the special day with his favorite breakfast of scones. Tyler loves scones . He doesn't love school but he had to go anyway, which was okay because he was spotlighted in his class all week long. I made a poster about him to display in his classroom. It looked like this: I went into his class later that week to tell some things about Tyler. He had asked me to bring our new bunny rabbits to show everyone. I didn't really want to haul the bunnies over to the school along with Hannah and Rachel. I asked him if it was really important for him to show the bunnies or would he rather bring his sisters instead. He thought for a minute then chose...his sisters! What a sweet boy - his love for his sisters never ceases to amaze me. He is a natural caretaker and that's a pretty good quality to have if you ask me. I told his class all about the funny things he did as a baby and all the reasons why Tyler's so awesome. After school, four of Tyler friends came home with him and we all went mini-golfing at Cherry Hill. Here are the birthday guests: Aunt Dorrie, Bekkah, Aunt Marcie and Ava joined us there for the festivities, too. They actually enjoy the whole birthday scene instead of just pretending...CRAZY! We came back to the house for pizza and ice cream and green cupcakes (Tyler's choice). The party wouldn't be complete without a few wacky gifts/photo ops! Looking good, T! Hannah was pretty adorable too, don't you think? The day was a success...mission complete. Happy Birthday Tyler!

Tagged! - Chapters 3-7

So it's Halloween, and I REALLY want to be able to blog about Halloween and show you how adorable my kids look. I also really want to blog about Tyler's B-day last week (for heaven's sake!) but I can't because I'm too far behind on my "Tagged!" blog. So here's Chapters 3-7 ...CONDENSED!

3. I have a totally irrational fear of being eaten by a shark.
I think I will go ahead and blame my parents for this one - letting me watch "Jaws" at too young of an age. Yup, it's their fault for sure. I remember having nightmares about sharks all through my childhood. They'd start out harmless enough...lets say a family drive out in the country. Well the countryside would somehow turn into the oceanside, and the car would drive off a cliff and into the ocean and everyone would be able to get out but me and I would get eaten by a shark. Every time. Inevitably. I even had nightmares about killer whales being released in public swimming pools unbeknownst to all the poor pool patrons, and of course everyone made it out but me. These nightmares had lasting repurcussions on my daily life. Swimming pools were difficult. Lakes were treacherous. Oceans were out of the question. Oceans still are...hate 'em. There are sharks in there and they want ME. So I guess living in Utah is a pretty safe bet when you are terrified of sharks...phew!

4. I'm a Kindergarten teacher who never went to Kindergarten.
My students always got a kick out of me telling them that. My family moved from Utah to Alberta, Canada when I was 5 years old. It was the summer before I was to start Kindergarten. When we got to Canada, my parents were informed that because the school deadlines were different there, I would be the oldest Kindergartner in my class. My parents were given the option to send me to Kindergarten as planned or bump me up to first grade to be with the children closer to my age. I met both teachers and decided I wanted to be in Kindergarten because she was much prettier than the first grade teacher. However, my parents overruled me and sent me to first grade...I mean "grade 1" (that's how they say it in Canada, eh!) It was never a problem until we moved back to the United States a few years later and I instantly became the youngest in my grade. I kinda hated being the last in my grade to graduate from Primary, drive, date, you name it. I kinda loved starting college at 17, though, so I guess it all evens out. It occurred to me when I got my first teaching job that I was in Kindergarten for the first time...at the ripe old age of 22! I would tell my students that they would have to help teach me the fundamentals of Kindergarten like staying in the lines and cutting with scissors since I had missed that. They would laugh and laugh at silly Mrs. Seeley. 5 year-olds are so good for my ego!


5. I look at my hands when I type and play the piano.
...and I don't think it has anything to do with skipping Kindergarten, OKAY? I took many years of piano lessons as well as years of "keyboarding" in middle school and I still, for the life of me, cannot not look at my hands! I gave up on the piano thing a long time ago, but I type all the time. It's very aggravating. Because I have to always look at my hands, I am not a very fast typist either, which stinks. Somehow I made it through college just fine and I get by now, too, just not as good as the rest of y'all. I am sure it is a learning disability of some sort that has yet to be diagnosed. Until then, I will go on feeling inadequate...it's fine. (Am I completely alone in this? Is there ANYONE else out there who still looks at their hands when they type? Anyone?)


6. I am REALLY good at word games.
Well, maybe just above average, but still. I must speak out about my above average abilities in the word game department because I happen to be married to one of the smartest guys in the world (he could totally BURY you at Trivial Pursuit). This guy knows more about everything and nothing than anyone. He just knows stuff. Frankly, I love that about him. He's like the flesh and blood version of Wikipedia. I'm not kidding. He's going to make us a million dollars on Jeopardy, but that's an entirely different post! Anyway, I discovered early in our marriage that I was better at word games than Cade. What a revelation that was! I could beat him at Scrabble and Boggle like 75% of the time...and I still can. I think it sorta bugs him...or maybe he just pretends it bugs him so I can feel even prouder of my word game prowess. I love words. I love word games. Forget Trivial Pursuit, let's play Scrabble!


7. My most embarassing moment.
What tag would be complete without an embarassing moment thrown in! I was a junior in high school. I lived very close to the school...a stone's throw. The fastest way to get to and from school was by cutting through a vacant lot, hopping a chain link fence and walking across the football field and into the school. That's the way everyone in my neighborhood did it, including me. The only time I walked the long way to/from school was if I was wearing a dress or skirt so as to avoid the chain link fence climbing. Well, one autumn day I was in a hurry to get home after school. I had on a "mini-skirt" (a popular fashion in the early 1990's) that day, but decided I could handle the fence, mini-skirt and all! I had my friend Tara with me who volunteered to "shield" me should I be any less than discreet during my fence-hop. I climbed up the fence until I could swing my legs around and perched myself on the top of the fence. As I jumped off the fence, the bottom of my skirt caught on something. I landed with both feet on the ground - unfortunately my skirt was yanked all the way up, still snagged on the fence! I stood there mortified as my "friend" Tara laughed her head off. I couldn't un-snag myself without Tara hoisting me up. She made her way over the fence and lifted me up and I became free and quickly pulled my skirt down. Unfortunately the damage had been done. As I turned around to face the school and see if anyone had witnessed my horrendous little peep-show, I realized that the entire Alta High football team had witnessed my horrendous little peep-show. They even gave me a round of applause (eat your heart out Marilyn Monroe!) I must have been as red as a tomato - I would have cried but they probably would have just clapped harder so I just turned and ran home (I should have curtsied). Needless to say, I never tried hopping the fence in a skirt after that. I'm scarred for life.


The End.

Tagged! - Chapter 2

Okay, so this probably won't we an actual "chapter" like my last post (because it's almost bedtime) and yes, I realize I didn't keep my word about posting for seven days straight...sorry. On with the show.


#2 I love almost any recipe with a special ingredient, especially if that special ingredient is sour cream.



I thought my mom was INSANE when I first saw her dump sour cream in her sugar cookie dough. SICK! But when I finally got up the nerve to taste 'em, they were delicious and I knew it was all because of the special ingredient...sour cream! Special indeed. Now I specifically look for recipes with sour cream in it and I'm almost never disappointed. I don't know what it is about sour cream in stuff - I'm no food scientist, but I'm pretty sure there is some chemical reaction that occurs and transforms any recipe from ordinary to exraordinary in a single dollup! From cookies and cakes to soups and casseroles, you really can't go wrong with sour cream. It's the special-est.

Now, sour cream isn't the only special ingredient I love, although it is probably my most favorite. Another is soda pop. I've used it to slow cook meet, I've added it to cobblers and most recently in making my friend Jill's to-die-for apple dumplings that I've made twice in the past 5 days and literally close my eyes and go to heaven for a few minutes while eating. I'll never look at a can of Sprite the same way again. I'm in awe.

Now , I could go on and on but I won't. Have you any special ingredients that I need to know about. Do tell!! In the meantime, here are a couple of "special ingredient" recipes to try...if you DARE!


White Chili
1 lb. diced chicken
1 medium onion, chopped
1Tbs. oil
1 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. ground cumin
1/2 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. oregano
cayenne pepper (optional)
2 cans white beans, drained
1 can chicken broth
2 cans (4oz.) diced green chilies
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup whipping cream
Saute chicken, onion and garlic powder in oil. Add beans, green chilies, chicken broth & seasonings; bring to boil. Reduce heat and
simmer uncovered for 30 minutes. Remove from heat. Stir in sour cream and whipping cream. Serve with sliced olives, shredded
cheese, and tortilla chips (Hint of Lime Tostitos are my favorite!)


Apple Dumplings

4 granny smith apples peeled, cored and cut into quarters

2 cans pillsbury cresent rolls

2 sticks butter

1 1/2 c. sugar

1 t. vanilla

1/2 - 1 can moutain dew, gingerale or sprite

cinnamon

Roll up each apple quarter in a crescent roll and place side by side in a buttered 13 x 9 pan. Melt butter. BARELY (and this is the secret) BARLEY stir in the sugar and vanilla. Don't let the sugar dissolve. Just stir till combined - but BARELY :) Pour over apples. Then pour your soda around the edges of the pan. Bake for 40 min at 350 until pretty and brown on top. Cool for 15-20 min and enjoy!!!!

Tagged! - Chapter 1

I've been TAGGED by two different people (Thanks Monica and Suzanne!) so I guess I'll humor the both of you and enlighten the world with this post wherein I will attempt to share 7 interesting/weird facts about myself. Here goes...AHEM...

1. I am Obsessed with Sleep

(Sadly, I can find absolutely no photo documentation of me sleeping. Troubling, really. I'll have to add that to Cade's "to do" list...take pictures of me sleeping for the blog!)

I think I love to sleep more than most people. When I pull those covers back each night and climb into my bed, I'm almost giddy with anticipation and I easily slide into unconsciousness with an immense feeling of joy and satisfaction. Love it. Waking up, however, is the bane of my existence, so no, I am definitely not a morning person. Cade tells me that when I'm pregnant I whimper in my sleep like a puppy. He finally figured out that it was because I had to go to the bathroom (again, like a puppy) but truly DID NOT want to have to wake up and go so he started rolling me out of bed and making me go whenever I'd start up with the whimpering.
Every day when I wake up I feel like I am dead or dying. I convince myself that I am definitely sleep deprived and VOW that I will make time for a nap that day, which really only happens about 5% of the time. I used to nap almost every day when life wasn't so chaotic and I only had a couple of small children - they were on a strict schedule and always napped at the same time. Once they were down, I would frantically tidy the house (I can't sleep if the house isn't tidy...otherwise I feel irresponsible and lazy), take the phone off the hook...and sleep. They say you can't "make up" sleep if you lose a few hours one day, but I beg to differ!! I always make up lost sleep, it drives me crazy if I don't. I need about eight hours of sleep to feel happy and productive throughout the day - if I'm at six or seven you can "rest" assured I will find a way to make up that lost hour or two. Sundays are Hog Heaven for me. I LOVE early morning church because it means I get a longer nap. And the best part is that we as Latter-Day Saints are actually encouraged to sleep on Sundays - it's keeping the Sabbath Day perfectly holy and I'm confident that I am being blessed immeasurably for it.
Thankfully Cade's completely opposite of me. 5 hours of sleep is plenty for him so he's quite accommodating toward my borderline-psychotic need for sleep. I'm usually in bed by 11 p.m. each night and sleep as late as I possibly can and still make breakfast and get the kids ready for school. There's no early morning scripture study or early-bird workouts at the gym for me. Nope...not if it cuts into my "sleepin' time". Tyler actually listed "sleeping" as my favorite hobby during a Mother's Day Newlywed Game-type activity at church. Everyone laughed. "Silly Tyler," they all thought "kids say the darndest things!" Little did they know he was right on the money! It's okay. Other moms quilt, read, scrapbook, and paint. I sleep...and I'll keep on sleeping. It's how I roll.

Okay, so Fun Fact #1 was so long that I've decided to drag my "Tag" out into 7 separate posts. Hopefully I can do one each day for a week...between naps, of course!

CHICAGO, What a Wonderful Town!

I don't mean to sound braggy, but I have the BEST best friends in the whole wide world. The five of us became friends years ago while living in the same ward/neighborhood in Gilbert, Arizona. We became very close and decided, once we each started moving away, that we would keep our friendship intact no matter what! So our solution was to get together at least once a year, just the girls! The tradition began last year with a trip to the Oregon coast. We had the best time and laughed the ENTIRE trip - what therapy! In deciding where to go this year, we all wrote down a city or place we wanted to visit and put it in a hat. We drew...CHICAGO! None of us had ever been there and I wasn't sure how I felt about going to such a BIG, UNFAMILIAR place but from the minute I got there and reunited with my girls, I knew I would have the best time...and I did!!!

Highlights included:

THE AMAZING VIEWS...

THE FOOD...mmmmm!

(This little breakfast shop is RIGHT under the L-train track,

but the cinnamon rolls were to die for...what noise??)

THE SIGHTS...

We were quite the sight, 5 old ladies riding our "cruisers" around town. I was extremely hesitant about making a fool of myself, but we had SO much fun, it was well worth it!

THE MANY "L" TRAIN RIDES...BEING PRINCESS FOR A DAY...
(some people thought I may have let the crown go to my head,
but I actually wore it with all the humility I could muster...sheesh!)

AND THE ULTIMATE HIGHLIGHT?...

AMAZING!!

The ONLY lowlight...

WAAAHH!!

Blogging Because I "Half" to!

Today is the official half-way mark for September, so I figured I'd catch you up on about half of the things we've been up to these past few weeks in a pathetic attempt to redeem myself for weeks, and I suppose months of half-hearted blogging:

1. We drove for half a day to reach destination CANADA (specifically Lethbridge, Alberta)!!! We caravan-ed with Suzanne and her kids and my mom. We had sooo much fun visiting all the Peterson relatives and doing all the things we love to do: eat, play and relax (okay, mostly eat!) Here are the Seeley and Lancaster boys at "Head Smashed in Buffalo Jump". Yes, that really is the name of a cliff that is now a popular tourist attraction. Quite an interesting story, actually...

Suzanne, me, Grandma P. and my mom at Fort McCloud

2. The boys started school - I cried for half the day, and did the "Happy Dance" for the other half (we had just returned from Canada the day before, mind you).

Jason - 1st grade, Tyler - 4th grade, Adam - 3rd grade
(Tyler and Adam are clearly only half as excited as Jason is about the first day of school.)

3. Rachel got half the Birthday Party that she deserved, due to my issues with throwing parties. She's only 1 though, so she doesn't know what she's missing...yet!

Fortunately, we compensated for lack of a party with a little extra attention

(as if she needed any more!)

As always, only half of the birthday cake ended up in her mouth.
Of course, we wouldn't have it any other way.

4. Cade decided it was time to free up half of his weekends by teaching the boys to mow the lawn (conveniently at the onset of college football season...hmmmm). Tyler did half...
...and Adam did the other half. Awesome job, guys!!
5. Soccer season started, meaning we get to spend half of our lives running to and from 3 different practices during the week and attending 3 different games at 3 different times and locations with a baby and a 3 year-old in tow! Aaahhhh, the joy!

Jason's team - The Black Widows
Adam's team - Green Eggs & Ham
Tyler's team - The Red Dragons
6. Hannah started dance lessons - the day I've waited half my life for. Hannah could not be any more excited for "ballerina class" and would wear that dang pink leotard all day and night if I had half a mind to let her. Don't worry, I don't.
(Did I just insult myself?)
Sweet little Rachel spends half of the time getting in to things that she shouldn't...
...and the other half getting into things she shouldn't (you do the math!)

Now that I'm half-way asleep (and you probably are, too) I'll give it a rest and go to bed and dream about...Chicago! Did I mention I'm going there in less than 36 hours?

A Rachel Story

4 kids...that's all I wanted. That was my limit. We had 4 kids in less than 7 years and none of them were multiples. We had been buying diapers for over 7 years straight and I was so ready to be done with that. We had been through 4 difficult pregnancies and I was more than ready to close that chapter of my life. There were no "empty chairs" at our dinner table in my opinion and I felt totally at peace with the decision to be done bearing children. Well, sort of. When people would ask me how I knew I was done and if I had prayed about that decision, I realized that I was deliberately NOT praying about it. Perhaps I knew what His answer would be and I just didn't want to hear it. Anyway I was fine with not praying about it. After all, I knew my own physical and emotional limits better than any one else, right? HAH! One fateful Monday morning in early January 2007 I was vacuuming and I mused that I hadn't had a period in December. Strange, I thought, since my body is like clockwork that way. That little "could I be pregnant?" voice whispered to me and I shoved it aside and continued vacuuming and tried to think bout something/anything else, but that nagging voice kept getting louder and louder until even the vacuuming couldn't drown it out! Ridiculous, not to mention impossible I thought as I turned off the vacuum, but even so I decided to make an emergency run to Walgreens for the pregnancy test just to rule it out. My body is like clockwork, I tell you! I dragged my two little ones with me and blushed at the cash register clerk like I always do when I buy those things! I took it immediately - I didn't have the patience to wait for "morning urine" (does anyone?) It was positive, of course...extremely positive and I sat there aghast trying to think of how on earth this could have happened. We were so careful...how could it be?...what will I do?...how will this work?...I'm not ready...I didn't choose this!!! My own selfish and bitter thoughts drove me to tears as I realize how terrible I sounded. The Lord had just handed me a huge blessing, one I didn't even ask for and I was completely ungrateful at that moment. Shame on me. The tears flowed even harder and I made the phone call to Cade. He was as shocked as I was but calmly reassured me that everything would be okay and things would work out for us. Cade's so good that way, always the voice of reason when I'm in a panic. In my state of panic I kept thinking of how I needed my mom. We had been living in Arizona for 8 years without my mom and had no major plans to move to Utah, but for some reason I kept thinking about how much I needed my mom! As the days went by and the morning sickness/severe depression hit, the feeling that we needed to move to Utah would not subside so I decided to express to Cade these bizarre thoughts, thinking he would roll his eyes and try to change the subject. Instead, he told me that he had been feeling that exact same way and thought he should ask his boss (who just happens to be his brother, Mike) if there were any positions open in Salt Lake. Astonishingly, there was. They were creating the position of Corporate Parts Manager, and thought Cade would be a great fit. He enthusiastically accepted the job offer and our house was up on the market a few weeks later. Our enthusiasm began to wane as we realized the housing market was not nearly as "hot" as it had been in months prior, and began dropping the price little by little in hopes of attracting the perfect buyer. The perfect buyer was nowhere to be found and I was getting more pregnant by the day. We were in a quandary. Do we wait for the house to sell, keep the kids in their school and have the baby here in Arizona while Cade commutes back and forth to Utah? Or do we leave our house vacant and and try and get somewhat settled in Utah before the baby comes? We decided on the latter, packed up our stuff and tearfully said goodbye to our amazing friends and family and headed up north. Because we were trying to sell a house in a really crummy market we played it safe and moved in with Cade's parents...and waited. Waited for our dumb house to sell, waited for a baby that I felt no connection to at all. It sucked. Limbo is a bad bad place. It makes you doubt yourself, it makes you doubt others, it makes you bitter, it's completely frustrating!!! Despite Cade's parents' care and hospitality(they were great), I was dying to be settled in a place of our own. I was a fish out of water and I didn't know how long I could flounder before I hit my breaking point. I felt like I had no control over anything in my life, and I know I resented the little nuisance in my huge belly for turning our lives upside down and landing us in Limbo. And then one day, August 27th to be exact, something happened. Something miraculous and beautiful and perfectly wonderful happened. Rachel Elizabeth was born...

She was happy and healthy and from the moment I laid eyes on her, my heart melted. I cried and cried and cried there on the delivery table (just ask my husband and my sister and my mom) as I released 9 months worth of fear, anxiety, stress, pain and resentment. It was replaced with love, pure love, God's love, and I was healed. At that moment I knew that God loved me, that He had a plan for me, and that plan included not 4, but 5 beautiful children. Rachel is indeed a gift, hand-picked for all of us to love and enjoy...and we do! Her little light shines so bright and we all get to benefit from it every day. What a blessing! How grateful I am for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me better that I know myself and knows what I want even better that I know what I want. Thank goodness.

Happy 1st Birthday Rachel Baby!